How often have you found your kid being stubborn to get a toy they liked? And later for another, until it goes on and on, and there’s no stop to your kids’ desires even when they already have something similar right at home.
When it comes to raising children, an essential part of it is inculcating good values to ensure that they become kind humans when they grow up. One of these values is gratefulness. But even when every parent wants that; they think that it’s almost impossible because the world in which they live is driven by materialistic temptations.
While we cannot help but accept this harsh reality, at the same time, we must believe in the power of our values and upbringing. If we feed in strong values in them, they won’t rebound. They’ll stick to them because it will become their way of life.
In other words, if you’ll teach your kids to be grateful for things they have from the very start, then they might not grow up to be materialistic and ungrateful people. They will know their values, and they will live by them.
How to Raise Grateful Kids in an Entitled World
I have a personal story of someone in my immediate family who I believe was not given these tools to be grateful. And as an adult, and an older adult, they still haven’t learned how to be grateful. This person throws a fit when they don’t get what they believe they deserve, not need, even though money isn’t readily available to have the thing they want. Until they get something they want, they won’t talk to their spouse or will make their life miserable until the other person gives in and gets what they want, even if it means going without other necessary things like food or electricity.
It’s a hard thing to watch, honestly. And my girls have experienced it first hand from this person. And Steve and I remind them every day to not be like this person. It’s not a good look and it makes people really angry and not want to be around them.
Just in case, you are wondering how to raise them to be grateful, this article is all you need.
Here are 7 ways to raise grateful kids in an entitled world:
1. Stop rewarding them
Yes, rewarding kids makes your work easy – kids finish their milk, pick up their toys. And you save a lot of energy by
But is it really a win-win? Because even though you both get what you wanted, you cannot ignore that your constant rewards are inculcating no good value in them. In fact, you are training your kids to be materialistic and greedy in the future.
The thing is when you keep on rewarding your kids, they would never do things because they should. Right now, they are expecting something in return, later when they grow up to be adults they will never consider doing good things just out of their heart- they will always be greedy to want something or the other.
Thus, now is the time to reflect on your methods and tricks as a parent. Take extra efforts, don’t opt for rewarding schemes. Even if you have to, don’t offer material things as rewards – but some other privileges like allowing them to choose a restaurant for your next dine-out, a star sticker perhaps on their hands for being good. But even when you are at it, just limit it, ensure that you don’t use the reward system exceedingly, and make your child dependent on it.
2. Allow your kids to do their chores
Your kids might be kids, but it does not give them a free pass to not do their chores. On the contrary, when you do their chores, you are offering them comfort and privileges; kids never learn to be grateful when they are in their comfort zone. They must know what it’s like to be on their feet all day doing this chore and that. The only way to let them know is to allow them to do the chores themselves. You do not have to ask them to do all the work, but only their chores – like cleaning up their rooms, washing their dishes, etc.
For the record, when kids do their chores, they also learn to become independent in life; it also inculcates a sense of responsibility and maturity in them. At the same time, they become grateful because once they start doing the chores themselves, they realize and acknowledge all the efforts that you put in for them. If you need some support and help with this one, read my post on the topic HERE.
3. Practice gratitude with them
When you have to raise your kids to be grateful, practicing gratitude daily can significantly help. You can encourage them to create their gratitude journal wherein they write down two things they are grateful for, every day.
To heighten their interest, you can encourage them to be creative. You can ask them to doodle, paint, or calligraph their words so they enjoy the process as well. However, you do have to make sure that they do not see it as a kind of obligation. They should practice gratitude because they want to and because they mean what they write down.
Mind that, children learn more from you than the world outside. Thus, if you practice gratitude as well, perhaps they’ll end up picking the same habit. This is a HUGE one in my house because I grew up seeing the other side of this and knew I didn’t want anything to do with that.
4. Interact with kids
When you have a relationship wherein there’s unhampered communication; your kids will have a free, interesting, and
We recently went to Disneyland because both girls are finally old enough to remember the experience since we went in 2016 and Finlee (pictured here) was only 8 months old back then. Now that she’s 6 we could have a conversation and figure out what she really wanted to see and do as well as what Leila (almost 11 now) wanted to do/see to maximize our time and see everything. It was great getting to have a conversation with the both of them separately as well as together to get on the same page. I make a point every day to speak to them even if it’s in the car on the way to school or swim practice. Every little bit helps and I know they enjoy it and listen because it generally comes back later in conversation about what we spoke about and their lesson.
Simultaneously, you can make use of nighttime stories to inculcate good values in them. Children learn a lot from stories, so you can perhaps pick a story that communicates the good value of gratefulness. There’s always a lesson to be learned, even if it’s something you might not feel is important — kids are always listening and watching.
5. Change your ways of life
As mentioned before, children learn a lot from you. This means you have to change your habits which are promoting the opposite of gratefulness. Starting from your shopping instincts – you cannot be a spontaneous shopper in front of them; you would be promoting materialism if you do so.
Secondly, you have to teach them the importance of money. Your children need to know that money is hard to earn, which is why they must be grateful for what they have, and what you earn for them. You can’t just teach them to ask for something that costs money and it automatically appear. They have to know things aren’t free and money is require for them to get things.
6. Allow them to cherish moments
Looking for a birthday gift for your kid? Well, how about gifting them moments and memories instead of a brand-new
That being said, your goal should be to raise children in such a way that they value experiences, moments, and memories, not things. When they value these intangible aspects of life, they’ll bother less about tangible things. This is my number 1 suggestion and ask when my girls have birthdays, Christmas, or any other time they would get a gift. I always say we can provide everything they need, and even things they want at times, so their time and memories are more important with the gift giver than things. Sometimes people listen, and I’ve come to learn that those who continually get them gifts instead of spending time don’t want to put in the effort, sadly. And my girls are learning who they can count on and who they want to spend time with, for fun, not just on holidays.
7. Encourage them to be kind and giving
Kindness is the greatest gift. Unfortunately, we live in a world wherein parents do not emphasize the value of kindness. They teach them abacus and poems, but they forget preaching kindness.
If you have to raise grateful kids, you have to encourage kindness. You have to let them know that there’s a world out there that is not blessed with the privileges that they have, which is why they must be grateful and at the same time, do their best to make it a better place.
- For the said purpose, you can do the following.
- Go out for a donation drive every month as a family.
- Encourage your kids to donate their extra clothes and toys.
- Go out to orphanages and interact with the people there.
- Encourage them to help out other kids at school.
- Encourage them to share their lunch with those in need.
- Encourage them to be good Samaritans and volunteer for good causes.
Lastly…
Gratefulness can neither be taught nor learned in a few days. It takes months, years, but most importantly, it takes a change of habits, and lifestyle to develop a grateful outlook. So, if you are a parent who is trying, we hope these tips help you out in the endeavor.
How do you teach your kids to be grateful?
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