As humans, we are not infallible. We are prone to making mistakes and taking wrong decisions. What follows after is a ton of regret. However, regret simply doesn’t do any good. Guilt eats us up from the inside, but does it undo the mistake? No. The thing is to learn from our mistakes, forgive ourselves, and move on.
It’s easier said than done though. Forgiveness is a difficult art, and when it comes to forgiving ourselves, we often struggle the most. Forgiving oneself is much harder than forgiving someone else. But it is also the way we move forward in life.
We can all be too hard on ourselves in one or more areas at some time or another. Whether it be not exercising enough, not eating right, not spending enough time with family, spending too much time at work, etc. The list is literally endless for ways we can regret and experience guilt about doing too much or not enough of something.
Self-Forgiveness Exercises
If you are struggling with accepting your mistakes, remember… you’re not a bad person! But if you need a reminder here are 10 beautiful ways for you to practice self-forgiveness and move on in life:
Every mistake is a lesson
If we never made mistakes, we would never learn and therefore never progress in life. Mistakes are crucial to us moving ahead in life and gathering experience. Remind yourself that you did the best you could do and that you will forgive yourself, but never forget the lesson you were taught.
Writing a forgiveness letter
One of the best ways to kickstart your self-forgiveness journey is by writing a letter of forgiveness to yourself. The process can help you express your emotions and find clarity on your past mistakes.
Seriously, it’s like unleashing all those bottled-up emotions and finding some much-needed clarity on those past mistakes. Pour your heart out and be honest with yourself. Remember, this letter is for you and your healing process.
Have a conversation with your inner self
Sit down in a quiet place and talk with yourself. Journaling has proved to be an effective way to self-talk. Write down the thoughts in your head, or try crafting an imaginary conversation between you and your inner critic.
You can also make a list of all your positive attributes when you are feeling particularly down and guilty.
Kindness and compassion
When you make a mistake, you engage in a lot of self-condemnation which ultimately brings you down. You need to remember that no amount of guilt can undo your actions. Instead, focus on accepting that you were wrong, and cut yourself some slack.
You can also use positive forgiveness affirmations to remind yourself that all of us make mistakes and you are not exceptional. Acceptance is a key part of self-forgiveness.
Visualization
Close your eyes and picture yourself in a peaceful and serene place. Maybe it’s a quiet beach, a lush forest, or even just your cozy bedroom. Imagine that you’re surrounded by a warm and loving light.
As you bask in this peaceful atmosphere, visualize your past mistakes floating away from you, disappearing into thin air. With each breath, imagine yourself letting go of guilt and embracing forgiveness. It’s like a mini-mental vacation that helps you release negative energy and make room for self-forgiveness.
Write it down when you are being excessively self-critical
Guilt is such a powerful thing that it turns us into our own worst critics. When we make mistakes, we tend to become excessively harsh towards ourselves, justifying it with the comment that we deserve it.
This is simply not true. You don’t deserve punishment for something you already feel guilty about. Again, writing it down is a good option.
Whenever you notice yourself being too self-critical, write it down to let your inner critic vent.
Release and let go
Sometimes, it can be helpful to physically release our emotions. One exercise you can try is writing down all the negative feelings you have about yourself or the situation you’re seeking forgiveness for on a piece of paper.
Then, when you’re ready, crumple up that paper and throw it in the trash or tear it into pieces. As you do this, visualize yourself letting go of those negative emotions and embracing forgiveness. It’s all about symbolically releasing the past and giving yourself a fresh start.
Decide on a course of action
Get clarity on one thing – what is it that you want now? Drowning in guilt is not going to get you anywhere. Instead, it’s going to bog you down and make you feel stuck.
So, instead of spending time away feeling guilty, spend time deciding your next course of action. If your mistake hurt someone, then how can you make it up to that person now? Simply saying sorry is pretty ineffective. You have to do something to make amends with the person in question. Put yourself in their shoes. If you were the one who was hurt, what would make you feel better?
Once you put yourself in the other person’s shoes, it helps you discern what would allow the person to forgive you, thus allowing you to forgive yourself as well. Decide on a course of action instead of wallowing in guilt and self-pity.
Challenging negative thoughts
Negative thoughts can really mess with our heads, making us feel all guilty and ashamed. But guess what? You have the power to take back control of your emotions and find some sweet, sweet peace.
Give yourself a little pep talk by saying things like, “Hey, I totally deserve forgiveness!” and “My mistakes don’t define me, I’m way more awesome than that!” Trust me, it works like magic!
Act of kindness
Doing something nice for others can actually help you forgive yourself too. Perform a random act of kindness that aligns with your values and brings joy to someone else. It can be as simple as buying a coffee for the person behind you in line, volunteering your time for a worthy cause, or sending an uplifting message to a friend.
When you spread positivity, it reminds you that you have goodness within you and that you deserve forgiveness as much as anyone else. Plus, seeing the happiness you can bring to others can be pretty darn heartwarming.
Lastly, the key to moving forward is the next step you make, for what is done cannot be undone anymore. This next step matters a lot, so don’t rush with it. Take your time, and allow yourself to forgive and accept, but never forget.
Forgiving oneself is a hard thing, but when we do it with love and compassion, and logic, it leads us to become better, wiser beings. Take every mistake as a learning opportunity, and remember, without mistakes, you would never know the difference between right and wrong.
Self-forgiveness is an important skill to practice, especially if you suffer from mental health issues. Learning how to forgive yourself can help you to feel better mentally and physically. When you accept responsibility for your actions and move on, you will likely feel less guilt and shame. Instead, you may view the situation as a learning experience. It is also important to forgive yourself in order to reduce negative feelings and improve your physical health. Do you find it hard to forgive yourself? If yes, why is it so? Let’s help each other by sharing a few things in the comments.
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