Many times in your life, things may not go right. You may think it’s completely the opposite of right actually. I’m going to tell you how to keep an open mind and how it can affect your life.
For me, growing up, wasn’t always great. There were many times where I wished it were different and if I dwelled on the negative, I’m not sure where I would be today. Because I didn’t let all the bad in and just let a thought or an experience come in and float out, kind of like a cloud, I have a different outcome than I could have. Don’t get me wrong, I’ve worked HARD to get through all the negativity and the issues that were given to me by my parents and ancestors through their beliefs and stories. I always knew it wasn’t for me though and that I was meant for more.
It’s just a matter of keeping your mind and eye on the prize and where you want to go.
How to Keep An Open Mind
If someone from White County, Indiana, who graduated with 48 people whom she had classes with since 4th grade, can keep an open mind and be open to new ideas and experiences, and change her entire life, you certainly can too!
I will be honest though, it wasn’t until I was in my early 20’s that I really worked on being more open-minded and listening to other people’s experiences, lifestyles, and journeys. Before that, I was more close minded and under the influence of family and their pre-existing beliefs.
When I went off to college was when a whole new world was introduced to me, much like many young people getting out of the house for the first time. It was a time where I could really decide how I wanted things, you know? For the first time, I was in charge of who I could actually be and change my destiny.
Here are a few things that really moved the needle to get on my path of where I am today:
– Embrace New Perspectives by engaging with other open-minded people
– Listen more and talk less
– Practice Mindfulness in all areas of my life
– Encouraging Honesty and really honest conversations with myself
– Recognizing and stopping judgmental thoughts not just about others, but also about myself
– Practicing Empathy
– Stay open to meet new people who can help move the needle forward for you
– Questioning my own Assumptions and the willingness to have my own ideas challenged
– Not being okay with Status Quo – always questioning and trying to make life easier
– Learning about different lifestyles and journeys and fully embracing them myself
– Volunteering and donating to causes that I’m not familiar with
Now let’s break each of these down a bit further to understand them
– Embrace New Perspectives
Growing up, things were very closed minded. When my brother came out, I was in 7th grade and my parents kicked him out of the house and we didn’t talk about that experience. When I was a senior in high school, my little sister who was 16 at the time, a year younger than me, told my parents she was pregnant. We didn’t talk about that either. Things like this could have caused me to form opinions that were negative and judge others around me. I instead chose to keep an open mind and be more open to new ideas and perspectives that weren’t afforded me growing up. I’d say this really helps successful people get where they are, in whatever shape, form, or belief they have of success.
– Listen More and Talk Less
This one, I’m honestly still working on daily. With the girls, it’s a lesson I hope to teach them early on. For me, this lesson started when my nephew passed at 2 1/2 years old by drowning in a swimming pool. I wanted to remember all the special moments and what his voice sounded like, and his laugh. But because I was too busy trying to teach him how to sit at a restaurant and eat, or how to color properly, I don’t remember. Now, I am mindful of my words and thoughts and protect those precious times where learning and growth and memories happen. When we close our mouths and open our minds to what others are saying and doing, we are able to gain experience and knowledge from them as well.
– Practicing Mindfulness in All Areas of My Life
I have an addictive personality. So for me, I have to be mindful of that always. If I don’t pay attention, then I find myself shopping for absolutely no reason at all. Or I find myself running my tank on empty both my body and my car, because I will just rush to say yes to everyone. Or stretch myself too thin and not have enough time to do everything I need to do. As a parent, I believe this is also one of my lessons in life. And to teach our girls. Some days, it’s harder than others. Other days, it’s really easy.
– Encouraging Honesty and really honest conversations with myself
Another one that I had to learn through relationships after moving out of my parents house at 18. I was really good at telling myself all the things I was doing wrong. Or ways that I would never succeed. What I wasn’t good at was actually digging into the why behind those things. Like the root of them. Not just the surface view. I had to learn how to read my own BS meter and learn when to call it out.
Once I learned how to do that, I learned how to change the conversation in my head FIRST and then of those around me. I stopped accepting less than my worth and good. I dropped relationships and people who no longer fit into the better ideals and morals I held for myself. Also, I gave myself and my future a different point of view. I started doing personal development and gave myself the ability to live my life out of my comfort zone. Out of the negativity and it became a lot easier.
– Recognizing and stopping judgmental thoughts not just about others, but also about myself
Once I had honest conversations and people who fitting for my life, I stopped being so judgmental about others and myself. When you uplevel in one area of your life, you have to broaden your horizons and do the same in other areas. If you are a positive person, people judging and bringing negativity in your life will become less and less appealing. If you want to keep them in your life you can stop them when they say things or give looks that you don’t agree with. Or you can just live your life and move on.
Sometimes, the latter is easier and I promise, you don’t need to be afraid to share information. And if they don’t get it, tell them bye! Once they are gone and away, it’s much easier to embrace new ideas with a fresh perspective and less self-doubt. Always stay open to the idea that people and situations may be temporary in your life, not permanent.
– Practicing Empathy
I started learning this one the hard way in 7th grade when one of the rich kids made fun of my pants being too short. They were the only pants I was able to buy with my own money that year, and I wore them 2 times a week up until that point. This kid had zero knowledge of my home life or where I came from, just that he thought it was funny to make fun of my ‘high waters’ and point it out to everyone else in our class. That moment taught me to look at things differently, and to give empathy to others. I still do the same today because chances are, I’ve probably been in the same or very similar shoes.
Now, especially, it’s important to be open to new ideas and people who don’t look like or walk like or come from the same place as you.
– Questioning my own Assumptions
Right along with the last one, I think the saying, “Never judge a book by it’s cover,” fits well. This one I believe we work on our entire lives. When presented with new people, a new opportunity, a new struggle, etc. we must question the thoughts that are occurring in our mind and question why or where they are coming from. Was it a preconceived notion? Was it some believe given to you in childhood? Maybe you have no idea where or why it’s in your mind? All of this is ok to happen. What’s important is we are questioning and not automatically moving on to full conviction. Open mindedness is such an important virtue to have when assuming ideas and thoughts.
– Learning about different lifestyles and journeys and fully embracing them myself
Growing up, there was either meat and potatoes or nothing (and sometimes I chose nothing) and farm life. While those things did shape me in a lot of ways into who I am today, there wasn’t much opportunity to see what else there was. While I enjoy running and cardio to this day, I had no idea what yoga, mindful meditation. Heck, even what golf was until I got out on my own. It wasn’t until I went to Ball State my freshman year did I learn about being vegan. Or that I actually was a sort of vegetarian most of my life.
I learned that it’s ok to try new lifestyles and mix them into what I was already doing. I have kept that up most of my adult life and often people ask me where I learned something and I usually can’t remember because I’m always researching and learning about different lifestyles and implementing in my own life.
– Volunteering and donating to causes that I’m not familiar with
Every place I’ve volunteered with or donate to I had no knowledge of before making the donation or giving my time. This allows me to go in unbiased and truly listen and form my own opinion of the organization on my own terms. I have so many wonderful experiences and memories from choosing to spend my time and resources this way. It opens you up to ask lots of questions that you wouldn’t normally ask if you were previously familiar. When searching out opportunities to volunteer and donate to it’s a great practice to becoming a more open minded person.
Being open minded involves a great deal of getting out of your comfort zone and just really embracing what the organization is about.
My hope is after reading this, you have a few new ideas to help move not only your life better, but those around you. I also hope that if you don’t have the life you want, some of these steps will help you gain the courage to stand up for yourself and change.. There are so many benefits of being open-minded. that it’s well worth the challenge.
Change is one of the hardest things we do as humans, but it’s also one of the best things. Let’s embrace it with an open mind.
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