Sibling rivalry can be frustrating to the parents. I remember this as a kid, and I’m certain my parents were at their wits end with us. We always hope that our kids can grow and co-exist in perfect harmony without any form of confrontation with each other but the reality is far from this. At some point, your kids will fight, and the closer they are age-wise, the likelihood becomes higher because they have similar interests. Your job as a parent is to mediate and solve these conflicts. And the good news is: you can. You just have to know how to manage this sibling rivalry and the tips offered here might come in handy.
How To Manage Sibling Rivalry
What pushes your kids to fight with each other? There are many reasons for this conflict. The most common one is when they are trying to get attention from you. During the lockdown period, many kids find themselves bored at home and as a way to kill this boredom, they pick fights with their siblings. This happens irregardless of birth order, whether you have older children or younger children, or whether children are close in age or wider apart in age.
Brothers and sisters may fight because they want to establish dominancy and feel powerful over the other. If one kid detects that you have a
How To Identify And Manage Sibling Conflicts And Rivalry Easily
There is no single guaranteed method and you have to understand that you may not eliminate sibling rivalry. You may be able to control it though by using several different tactics. Also, don’t get discouraged. Trial and error is common when dealing with an issue as dynamic as sibling rivalry.
How To Manage Sibling Rivalry:
1. Create rules, regulations, and traditions for your home
One of the rules should be that no one is allowed to fight, name-call, or demean another person in your home. This is not productive behavior during conflict. Make sure you enforce this rule so that the kids will understand that they will face certain consequences if they break these rules. This may set a good tradition that everyone in the family follows in the future.
2. Ask the kids to come up with solutions
The kids may understand the situation better than you and once you step in, do not try to impose the probable solutions you have in your mind. Then, everyone in the situation feels discouraged and possible like they were not heard. The best way is to ask them to suggest how the conflict can be resolved. If they agree, you will have mitigated the issue and created a bond between them. This is a great way to teach them problem-solving tactics.
3. Listen to both sides and do not pick a side
When resolving the conflict, do not pick one side. Listen to each of the family members and decide who is to blame for the conflict. If possible, look for a win-win solution. The sibling who started the fight should apologize to the other. If there are consequences and punishments to be done, make sure that you are fair but firm when giving these punishments.
4. Intervene if the conflict goes out of control
Sometimes its best to let the kids handle the situation themselves. If it is not something serious, they may find common ground and resolve the conflict without you having to step in. However, if the rivalry becomes aggressive and physical, step in immediately to prevent the kids from harming each other.
In general, sibling conflict should not error on the side of violence, name-calling, and / or degradation of character. If after trying several sibling rivalry solution techniques to no avail you still see this type of escalation, consider enrolling your children in family therapy. While therapy is not the solution to all problems, it can be very helpful and formative for children who have a hard time expressing and acting on their emotions properly. Thus, therapy should never be looked at as a failure or last resort, but a learning experience for all.
5. Give them time-off
Sometimes it is not possible to calm the situation when everyone is upset. The best way to handle this would be to send them away separately and give them time to calm down. During this time, encourage deep breathing and relaxation. Revisit the situation and host a family meeting when they are calm and find a solution together.
Start developing conflict resolution skills with your kids early!
Sibling conflict is a common issue for families with more than one child. Though it may be frustrating to deal with, it’s important to remember that conflict is a normal part of family dynamics and especially sibling relationships. There are a few things you can do to help manage sibling conflicts and reduce the amount of fighting in your home. First, try to avoid comparing your children to one another. This can fuel jealousy and competition between siblings. Second, spend time with each child individually. This will help them feel valued and loved, and can prevent fights from happening in the first place.
Finally, teach your kids how to resolve conflicts in a healthy way. If they do end up fighting, model good conflict resolution for them so they can learn how to handle disagreements in a constructive way. With a little effort, you can help reduce the amount of sibling fighting in your home and create a more peaceful family environment. And the best part? As your children learn these life skills, these skills will stick with them throughout life allowing them to better minimize conflicts as adults.
Do you have other tips that help you manage your kids and their conflicts? If so please share them as we all could use all the help we can get in this motherhood thing!
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