How to be More Present with Your Kids

We can all acknowledge that spending time with our kids is important. But are you being present with them?

It’s easy to sit down next to our children while we get stuck in a scroll hole on instagram and count that as spending time with them. But does that really count?

Now, I’m not judging if you relate. In today’s world, it’s so easy to get stuck in this trap. I’ve done it myself quite a bit. The world is changing – quickly. There’s people to see, things to do, information to read, and so much more at our fingertips. It’s easy to say we sat with them or read them a book at night before bed and say we were present.

But taking the time to slow down and be present in the moment is important.

If you’re like most people, it might be hard to implement. In today’s post, I’ll be sharing tips to help you be more present with your kids, so you can stop guessing.

So if you’re looking for more ways to be present, keep reading.

What does it mean to be present?

Let’s take a moment to actually talk about what it means to be present. The word gets thrown around a lot, but what does it really mean?

In short, we can define being present as ENJOYING the moment we are in, rather than running on autopilot or wishing it away. It means savoring it, soaking it all in, and truly enjoying that moment in time.

After all, that exact moment will only happen the same way once. So why not enjoy it for what it is? When we are scrolling through instagram, we aren’t appreciating the fact we are sitting with our child. We are preoccupied with what Linda had for lunch, what Brenda did for her 15th wedding anniversary, and other things that really don’t matter as much. The time spent with your children should be fully present and focused on them.

Slow down and soak it all in so you can truly appreciate what’s in front of you.

Plan for quality time

Being present is nice in theory, but how on Earth do you even start being more present? Well, first is to plan for true quality time. When you plan your quality time, it doesn’t need to be long. Kids can and will be happy with 15 minutes of quality time. As we learn to be more present, the other moments will come too.

Get enough sleep

As you plan for quality time, make sure you are sleeping enough! This means getting at least 7-8 hours of sleep if you can so that you have the energy the next day. If you’re groggy and tired, you are going to have a rough time being present. Your quiet time is as valuable for you as it is for your child.

I mean… how are you going to be interested in your child’s stories when you can barely focus when they speak to you?

Get your sleep mama, it’s important.

Schedule your time with them

Your sleep is important, but it doesn’t stop there. The next piece is to actually SCHEDULE your quality time with your child. Even if you don’t feel like you “need to”, hear me out.

How would your child feel if they got dedicated one-on-one time with you?

If they’re like any other kid, they will absolutely LOVE it. Scheduling a couple days a month to get intimate time with your child can help so much in feeling present with them! If it can’t be an entire day, remember, as little as 15-30 minutes is sometimes enough time spent to give them the uninterrupted attention they are wanting and deserve.

Take it a step further and plan a special “date” with them.

You can do something fun that they enjoy around their interests, go to a movie, have lunch together, get deep in play at the park, and anything else you can come up with.

For older children, consider having them help with planning!

Make the most of the moments

You got your sleep, scheduling time with your child, and planned out an awesome day. Whoo! The next part is setting yourself up to make the most of the moments with them so they don’t slip away from you.

Try following these tips when the time arrives.

Put your phone away

Seriously though – put your phone down. Text your best friend to let her know you’ll be unavailable if you need to, but put it on silent and focus on spending time with your child. Be fully invested in conversations, notice the hummingbird in the air as you take a walk, and just SOAK IT ALL UP.

Social media, phone calls, texting, etc… it’s a huge distraction. I hate to break it to you, but your child does in fact notice when your nose is in your phone. When I’m being fully present with my children, I don’t have a phone or technology near me to distract not just me, but also them.

I promise it will all still be there later. The world does not need immediate access to you 24/7.

Slow down to enjoy it

It’s easy to feel in a rush as you spend time with your child, planned or not. You have other things to do, people to see, and you need to keep your eye on the clock!

No, just… stop. If you can, slow down so you can enjoy the moment you are in. Take a deep interest in what their life looks like, making them laugh, dancing and being silly together, and enjoy it in all its glory. Do something your kid loves to do, even if it’s as simple as crafting or going for a walk outside.

Spending time with those we love should never feel like something we are rushing through.

Communicate with them

I’ve already touched on this but it’s important to communicate with our children. What have they been up to? Who is their best friend? What subject are they enjoying at school? Of course, younger children won’t have as detailed conversations… but still.

Make conversation about the world around us instead. No conversation is too small.

If you’re stuck, try asking these questions:

What’s your favorite movie/book/color/flower/etc?
If you could have any superpower, what would it be?
If you could change one thing about the world, what would it be?
What is your favorite thing about yourself?
What do you feel grateful for today?
What do you want to be when you grow up?
What made you laugh today?
Would you rather live in the city or on a farm?
Do you think it’s more important to be rich or kind?
What is the best smell in the world?

This is also a great time to see if anything is bothering them, cultivate good mindset habits, and various other things. Communication is so important when children are young.

Focus on experiences

As easy as it is to rely on gifts and toys, it’s so much more beneficial to focus on crafting experiences with our kids. They won’t remember the special toy you bought (for the most part), but they definitely will remember experiences with you.

This can be something as simple as baking with you while you make silly jokes. Or maybe you go see a special movie with them that siblings have no interest in.

Whatever it is – just make sure you are soaking it all up.

Adapt throughout the day

While planning days is important, it’s not the only opportunity to be present. This also happens throughout the day and we need to be able to adapt, even when it’s hard.

Accept the chaos when it happens

Chaos is part of life and the best thing you can do is accept that not every present moment will be a positive one. Sometimes we have to accept that chaos happens, mess happens, and roll with the punches.

If you need to stop and breathe before you react, do that. But be careful not to “wish away” moments. Rather, embrace them and see them as teaching moments.

Offer your help without distractions

Kids are naturally going to ask for our help and sometimes they do it so they can get more of our attention (especially when it’s something we KNOW they can do themselves). Be careful in getting frustrated and demanding they do it themselves.

Instead, take this as a chance to be present with your child. Put your phone to the side and help them with whatever it is they need or ask for.

Of course, it can’t always go that way. But even once a day can mean the world to a child.

Express gratitude for your child

How often do you tell your child you appreciate them? You are grateful that you have them? You love that you were chosen to be their mommy?

If your answer is never, start today.

This gets us to enjoy them more while also making them feel loved, wanted, and worthy. A habit of expressing gratitude to our children get us to see them for not only the good parts – but the frustrating parts too.

And that mama, is SO VALUABLE.

Final Thoughts

Being present in the moment is hard, but it can be done! Being present is soaking up and enjoying all the moments instead of wishing them away.

Start by planning for quality time in getting enough sleep and scheduling days out with your child. They will LOVE doing something fun with you without anyone else around!

When the time comes around, make sure to put your phone away and focus on not only them, but the world around you too. Focus on creating the best experience possible and talk with your child. Find chances to really talk and get to know each other on a deeper level.

As important as carving out time is, sometimes being present is in the ordinary. Try to accept chaos when it happens, offer your help instead of insisting they do it themselves, and express your gratitude for them so you can enjoy their presence that much more.

Today’s world makes it hard to be present, but it can be done with the right intentions.

How to be More Present with Your Kids