Back to School Events – always for the kids and college students, but what about the Moms left behind?
It’s that time of year again! The kids are going back to school and the parents are getting ready for a new routine. Whether your child is starting kindergarten or returning for another year of high school, there are a few things you can do to help them (and yourself) transition back into the school routine. This can be a challenging time for both parents and children. But it doesn’t have to be!
Don’t get me wrong, this is my 4th year doing back to school but my first where both girls didn’t stay home with me at least one day.
And quite frankly, I’m pretty bored.
I thought I’d have plenty of time to get all the things done, but I don’t have motivation.
I’d rather do nothing and spend all my time worrying about leaving my littlest teary eyed at drop off.
So, I’ve created a list of my top things to help us mamas (and dads because I’ve seen quite a few in the same position as me) get back on track with this back to school madness.
Because that’s really what it is. It’s just as much an adjustment for us as it is for our children, whatever the age.
Back to School Solutions for Parents
The first step in getting back into routine is coffee and/or mushroom coffee. When I say coffee, I’m not talking any coffee, I’m talking a really good one that doesn’t leave an impact on the environment for said kids. The same kids who are no longer attached to your every move at least 8 hours a day.
Woken Coffee to be exact.
The pods are biodegradable and work perfectly in an espresso machine. I love that the Vanilla flavor doesn’t resemble Espresso too much that I can still enjoy it like a morning coffee rather than an afternoon treat with dessert!
While we are talking about food, find yourself a few new favorite places that you take yourself, by yourself. I have spots that the kids and I go to together and other spots that only Steve and I visit. And then there are spots that are completely separate we visit as a family.
I’m talking about a pretty little spot that you always wished you could go to with your girlfriends or guy friends and spend hours on end and not miss a second because your attention isn’t divided trying to attend to your kiddos.
Basically, I’m talking about places you’d love to spend all the time in the world at, but can’t because you always get rushed when there, or can’t go because it isn’t something that anyone else would go with you.
Another thing, get yourself some snacks you can keep at home that only you get to enjoy. They can be healthy or an indulgent option. I love the treats I found from Sugarfina. They sell them at Nordstrom, have a location at the Phoenix Sky Harbor Airport, and online. (The coffee gummy bears and the cocktail line are a must!)
Next thing on the list is trying things you haven’t ever had the chance to do before.
Things like shopping by yourself (y’all know about the mindless wanders down Target’s isles); getting a blow out (The Drybar is a Gamechanger!); having a waxing treatment that you’ve never tried before (Lunchbox Wax is a great one here in the valley); or try out some new beauty products (big fan of Ulta or Sephora for this!). You can take them home and try them. I found a few products online that I love from Silk Therapeutics to help my eyes not feel (actually look) so tired and a Vitamin C serum to help restore my skin for an extra treat.
Many don’t associate eating better or fitness until the New Year. I like to start this when school starts as it feels like a new year. My favorite workout lately has been spin and I love love love The Madison Scottsdale!
Steve and I have been drinking celery juice each morning to help us get on a more healthy trend in all areas. The Medical Medium protocol is my next step to completely get on the healthy trend! And I’m not just talking my physical health, I’m also talking about my mental health.
When you go to the grocery store or farmers market, grab yourself some fresh flowers.
I always grab a few different kinds to make my own bouquet but you can buy one that’s pre-made for you. I love Trader Joe’s because they are so affordable and have such a good selection to make my own but Costco, Walmart, and Kroger stores have great pre-made selections.
These are a few ideas I’m going to try to get back into a back to school routine. Don’t think if you don’t have kids, you can’t do these. The tips and ideas above can apply to anyone in a rut or having a hard time getting adjusted again. Here are some of the other ideas now that we are post COVID-19 to help stay relevant in the conversation.
While the school system has been through a lot of changes over the past year, one thing remains the same: the importance of a child’s education. As a parent, you play an essential role in your child’s education. Here are a few tips to help you make the most of the school year:
– Get involved in your child’s education. Attend school functions, meet with their teachers, and help with homework when needed. Your involvement will show your child that you value their education and sets them up for success.
– Stay up to date on school announcements and events. Check the school website or sign up for the school’s email list to ensure you don’t miss important information.
– Create a routine and stick to it. A consistent routine will help your child know what to expect each day and make the transition back to school easier.
– Be supportive and positive. This is a big adjustment for your child and they may be feeling nervous or anxious. A positive attitude from you will go a long way in helping them feel confident and ready to take on the new school year.
The Washington Post has some great tips for parents as the back-to-school season begins. One piece of advice is to make sure that your young people have plenty of time to adjust to the new school year. This means getting them involved in a child care program or another activity that will help them ease back into a routine. It’s also important to be flexible and understand that your child may need some extra time and attention during this transition. In addition, it’s helpful to talk to other parents and family members about their experiences with back-to-school. By sharing information and advice, you can help make the process smoother for everyone involved.
The transition back to school for parents can be difficult, especially for working parents. The coronavirus pandemic has made it even more difficult for parents to juggle their work and home responsibilities. Here are some tips for parents to help make the transition back to school a little easier.
First, try to establish a routine for yourself and your family. Having a set schedule will help everyone know what to expect and when things need to get done. Secondly, take some time for yourself. Even if it’s just a few minutes each day, find time to do something that you enjoy. This will help you relax and recharge so that you can better handle the challenges of parenting.
Take some time to familiarize yourself with your child’s school district. If you’re unsure of where your child’s school is located or what the school day schedule looks like, don’t hesitate to reach out to the district office or your child’s teacher. It’s also a good idea to review the list of supplies your child will need for the year. While most schools provide basic supplies like pencils and paper, there may be some specific items that are needed for your child’s grade or class.
Finally, reach out to other parents for support. There are likely many other parents in your situation and they can be a great resource for advice and support.
If I forgotten anything on this list, or if you have other ideas, I’d love for you to leave me a comment and share with others in our community!
We can all acknowledge that spending time with our kids is important. But are you being present with them?
It’s easy to sit down next to our children while we get stuck in a scroll hole on instagram and count that as spending time with them. But does that really count?
Now, I’m not judging if you relate. In today’s world, it’s so easy to get stuck in this trap. I’ve done it myself quite a bit. The world is changing – quickly. There’s people to see, things to do, information to read, and so much more at our fingertips. It’s easy to say we sat with them or read them a book at night before bed and say we were present.
But taking the time to slow down and be present in the moment is important.
How to be More Present with Your Kids
If you’re like most people, it might be hard to implement. In today’s post, I’ll be sharing tips to help you be more present with your kids, so you can stop guessing.
So if you’re looking for more ways to be present, keep reading.
What does it mean to be present?
Let’s take a moment to actually talk about what it means to be present. The word gets thrown around a lot, but what does it really mean?
In short, we can define being present as ENJOYING the moment we are in, rather than running on autopilot or wishing it away. It means savoring it, soaking it all in, and truly enjoying that moment in time.
After all, that exact moment will only happen the same way once. So why not enjoy it for what it is? When we are scrolling through instagram, we aren’t appreciating the fact we are sitting with our child. We are preoccupied with what Linda had for lunch, what Brenda did for her 15th wedding anniversary, and other things that really don’t matter as much. The time spent with your children should be fully present and focused on them.
Slow down and soak it all in so you can truly appreciate what’s in front of you.
Plan for quality time
Being present is nice in theory, but how on Earth do you even start being more present? Well, first is to plan for true quality time. When you plan your quality time, it doesn’t need to be long. Kids can and will be happy with 15 minutes of quality time. As we learn to be more present, the other moments will come too.
Get enough sleep
As you plan for quality time, make sure you are sleeping enough! This means getting at least 7-8 hours of sleep if you can so that you have the energy the next day. If you’re groggy and tired, you are going to have a rough time being present. Your quiet time is as valuable for you as it is for your child.
I mean… how are you going to be interested in your child’s stories when you can barely focus when they speak to you?
Get your sleep mama, it’s important.
Schedule your time with them
Your sleep is important, but it doesn’t stop there. The next piece is to actually SCHEDULE your quality time with your child. Even if you don’t feel like you “need to”, hear me out.
How would your child feel if they got dedicated one-on-one time with you?
If they’re like any other kid, they will absolutely LOVE it. Scheduling a couple days a month to get intimate time with your child can help so much in feeling present with them! If it can’t be an entire day, remember, as little as 15-30 minutes is sometimes enough time spent to give them the uninterrupted attention they are wanting and deserve.
Take it a step further and plan a special “date” with them.
You can do something fun that they enjoy around their interests, go to a movie, have lunch together, get deep in play at the park, and anything else you can come up with.
For older children, consider having them help with planning!
Make the most of the moments
You got your sleep, scheduling time with your child, and planned out an awesome day. Whoo! The next part is setting yourself up to make the most of the moments with them so they don’t slip away from you.
Try following these tips when the time arrives.
Put your phone away
Seriously though – put your phone down. Text your best friend to let her know you’ll be unavailable if you need to, but put it on silent and focus on spending time with your child. Be fully invested in conversations, notice the hummingbird in the air as you take a walk, and just SOAK IT ALL UP.
Social media, phone calls, texting, etc… it’s a huge distraction. I hate to break it to you, but your child does in fact notice when your nose is in your phone. When I’m being fully present with my children, I don’t have a phone or technology near me to distract not just me, but also them.
I promise it will all still be there later. The world does not need immediate access to you 24/7.
Slow down to enjoy it
It’s easy to feel in a rush as you spend time with your child, planned or not. You have other things to do, people to see, and you need to keep your eye on the clock!
No, just… stop. If you can, slow down so you can enjoy the moment you are in. Take a deep interest in what their life looks like, making them laugh, dancing and being silly together, and enjoy it in all its glory. Do something your kid loves to do, even if it’s as simple as crafting or going for a walk outside.
Spending time with those we love should never feel like something we are rushing through.
Communicate with them
I’ve already touched on this but it’s important to communicate with our children. What have they been up to? Who is their best friend? What subject are they enjoying at school? Of course, younger children won’t have as detailed conversations… but still.
Make conversation about the world around us instead. No conversation is too small.
If you’re stuck, try asking these questions:
What’s your favorite movie/book/color/flower/etc?
If you could have any superpower, what would it be?
If you could change one thing about the world, what would it be?
What is your favorite thing about yourself?
What do you feel grateful for today?
What do you want to be when you grow up?
What made you laugh today?
Would you rather live in the city or on a farm?
Do you think it’s more important to be rich or kind?
What is the best smell in the world?
This is also a great time to see if anything is bothering them, cultivate good mindset habits, and various other things. Communication is so important when children are young.
Focus on experiences
As easy as it is to rely on gifts and toys, it’s so much more beneficial to focus on crafting experiences with our kids. They won’t remember the special toy you bought (for the most part), but they definitely will remember experiences with you.
This can be something as simple as baking with you while you make silly jokes. Or maybe you go see a special movie with them that siblings have no interest in.
Whatever it is – just make sure you are soaking it all up.
Adapt throughout the day
While planning days is important, it’s not the only opportunity to be present. This also happens throughout the day and we need to be able to adapt, even when it’s hard.
Accept the chaos when it happens
Chaos is part of life and the best thing you can do is accept that not every present moment will be a positive one. Sometimes we have to accept that chaos happens, mess happens, and roll with the punches.
If you need to stop and breathe before you react, do that. But be careful not to “wish away” moments. Rather, embrace them and see them as teaching moments.
Offer your help without distractions
Kids are naturally going to ask for our help and sometimes they do it so they can get more of our attention (especially when it’s something we KNOW they can do themselves). Be careful in getting frustrated and demanding they do it themselves.
Instead, take this as a chance to be present with your child. Put your phone to the side and help them with whatever it is they need or ask for.
Of course, it can’t always go that way. But even once a day can mean the world to a child.
Express gratitude for your child
How often do you tell your child you appreciate them? You are grateful that you have them? You love that you were chosen to be their mommy?
If your answer is never, start today.
This gets us to enjoy them more while also making them feel loved, wanted, and worthy. A habit of expressing gratitude to our children get us to see them for not only the good parts – but the frustrating parts too.
And that mama, is SO VALUABLE.
Final Thoughts
Being present in the moment is hard, but it can be done! Being present is soaking up and enjoying all the moments instead of wishing them away.
Start by planning for quality time in getting enough sleep and scheduling days out with your child. They will LOVE doing something fun with you without anyone else around!
When the time comes around, make sure to put your phone away and focus on not only them, but the world around you too. Focus on creating the best experience possible and talk with your child. Find chances to really talk and get to know each other on a deeper level.
As important as carving out time is, sometimes being present is in the ordinary. Try to accept chaos when it happens, offer your help instead of insisting they do it themselves, and express your gratitude for them so you can enjoy their presence that much more.
Today’s world makes it hard to be present, but it can be done with the right intentions.
Give yourself some credit, mama. You are an AMAZING mom to your littles. You love them more than life itself. But… you are tired of feeling so frazzled and chaotic.
I get you mama, it is SO HARD sometimes. It feels like the days of being pulled 86 different directions will never end.
You’re tired of going to bed regretting the entire day.
You’re so frazzled that you’re flying off the handle all hours.
You feel like your kids are getting tired of you, maybe you’re even tired of yourself.
But I’m here to tell you that this isn’t forever. You absolutely CAN have a different reality.
If you scroll instagram and just wish you could be that gentle mindful mama who is patient and enjoying her days instead of wishing them away… this is for you.
Mindfulness Habits for Frazzled Moms
In this post, I’ll be sharing mindfulness habits for frazzled moms. These will make a HUGE difference in your life if you commit yourself to it.
I want to preface this in that you absolutely should not try to implement all of these at the same time. Pick a few and add them in overtime.
Who knows where you could be 6 months from now? Or even a week from now? Let’s get to it!
Start and end your day with intention
First and foremost – you need to be intentional. Flying by the seat of your pants just isn’t going to cut it. You absolutely have to commit to yourself and make the right choices throughout your day. Start with a plan and adjust as you go (we all know mom life NEVER goes according to plan!).
Implement morning and evening routines
When you first get intentional, it’s important to have routines for both starting and ending your day. This helps you get in the right headspace and feel a sense of calm as you enter or exit your day.
If possible, try to wake up 1-2 hours before your children do.
I acknowledge that not everyone can do this… but man does it make for a great start to the day! Starting your day without being needed by anyone is AMAZING. You can sit and read your book, sip on your coffee in peace, watch the sunrise, and enter your day feeling light.
But – make sure you have a plan. Know WHY you are waking up early and what you will do with the extra time, otherwise you will fall right back asleep! Ha.
Start an evening routine 1-2 hours before you plan to go to bed.
Just like you want to ease into your day, you want to ease out of it, too. This is also a very calming experience and sets you up for a good night’s sleep that will then start the next day off on the right foot.
Turn off screens, start a diffuser of calming oils, take a shower, dim the lights, and set up the perfect environment to get you ready for sleep. It works wonders!
Express gratitude
As Tony Robbins says, “When we have an attitude of gratitude we see life as it is; an unbelievable gift.”
Taking the time to stop and think about what you’re grateful for is one of the best things you can do when you start your day. It encourages happiness and you see everything around you in a different light. You appreciate life for the beautiful thing it is.
Start your mornings by listing off a few things you are grateful for. Watch as your perspective changes just from this simple habit.
Set your daily intentions
Another great habit to implement in the morning is setting your intentions for the day. Some really good questions to ask yourself as you do this, are:
What are my top 3 priorities for today?
Do I have any events I need to prepare for?
What am I EXCITED for today?
What will make today AWESOME?
Who needs me to bring my A-Game today?
If you have habits you want to work on today, make sure to list those too. Don’t get too crazy with this either – the point of this is to get excited for your day, set your mind to having an awesome day, and be okay when things go sideways.
Practice breath work throughout the day
Deep breathing is probably the most simple, yet effective mindfulness tool. Learning to stop, close your eyes, breathe in through your nose, out through your mouth, and silence your thoughts does a lot for the mind.
As a mom, you’ll use this tool A LOT once you get in the habit. It’s a great tool when you need to take a moment before you snap. (It’s also useful to set the boundary of giving mommy a moment to calm herself!)
And while this works great during stressful moments, it is a great tool to start your day with too. If you can take a moment to just sit and breathe, you center yourself and start the day with very calm energies. Meditation or simple breathing exercises helps a ton!
Set and visualize your goals
Keep your goals in the front of your mind and start your day visualizing them happening! List out your top goals for the moment, no matter if it’s to stop yelling at your kids, drink more water or putting a down payment on a house.
Once you’ve done that, visualize it.
Close your eyes, and picture it happening. How will your relationship with your kids improve? What does that version of you look like? What are you doing? How do you FEEL?
Recite it, visualize it, then work towards it.
Recite affirmations
Our mind is truly a powerful thing. Whatever we tell it, it believes. If you constantly say how terrible of a mom you are, you’re going to believe it and show up in life with that energy.
This is where affirmations come in – they help us change our mindset and truly believe it. Even if you don’t believe it at first, consistency will lead to changing that over time. By reciting “I am” statements, we rewire our brain.
Some good affirmations to start with include:
I am capable of amazing things.
I am enough for my kids, as I am, right now.
I am worthy of a life full of joy and happiness.
I am strong in my ability to handle what life throws at me.
I am kind in how I speak to those I love.
I am brave, pushing through the hard stuff.
For best results, recite affirmations out loud so you are speaking it into reality. Aim for the same set of affirmations every 30 days. By focusing on the same ones, we put focus onto embodying the belief that it is true.
Manage your emotions
Another important aspect of being mindful as a mom, is managing our emotions. This is HARD – but the benefits to this are huge. Eventually, you will rewire your brain to think and respond differently.
Prioritize responding over reacting
First and foremost – place an importance on responding instead of reacting. Instead of blowing a gasket over the marker Jimmy scribbled all over the wall… take a breath, and consider how to best respond.
This may look like:
Acknowledging why this happened (lack of attention, desire to color, etc)
Setting the boundary to prevent it happening again (explain we only color on paper)
Giving little Jimmy the tools he needs (giving easier access to paper)
By responding in a helpful way, the outcome is much better than if we lash out. But in order to do this, we have to take control of our emotions FIRST. It’s okay to wait to respond!
Process how you are feeling
Stemming off that, you absolutely must process your feelings. Emotions are not a negative thing, but they need to be processed. Sit in it, give yourself permission to feel any certain feeling, analyze why you’re feeling that way, etc.
Don’t push through them, but process them and sit in it for a minute.
Be more present
We live in a society where being present is a rare find. With so much going on around us, it’s easy to detach ourselves from what’s in front of us. But when you’re present… quality of life is greater and therefore you are more apt to approach life from a sense of peace.
You can get more present by:
Limiting your social media use (or at least using it intentionally)
Be present with your loved ones (put your phone away and give them your attention)
Spending more time doing things you enjoy and show up for the experience
Honor yourself
You’re starting your day on the right foot, managing your emotions, and getting present – that’s great. But are you taking care of yourself and honoring who you are and how you work? It’s VITAL that you are taking this seriously.
A burned out mama doesn’t do anyone any good. And ignoring your own wants and needs is the fastest way to get burned out and end up in a constant state of overwhelm.
Become more self-aware
The first step is to become self-aware. Why do you react the way you do? What activities help you feel more like yourself? What helps improve your quality of life?
Pay attention to your body, mind, and spirit. Take mental notes and adjust as you go.
Take care of your body
The mind and body are connected and knowing that, it is important to take care of your body. Being hard on your body and not taking care of it will eventually lead to suffering the consequences.
Simple ways to take care of your body:
Avoid sitting too much – get your body moving by playing, dancing, working out, etc
Drink enough water to keep your body hydrated throughout the day
Focus on good eating habits – eat plenty of protein and produce!
Mindfulness Habits for Frazzled Moms
Final thoughts
Being a mom is hard and while it feels like the constant state of frazzle and overwhelm is forever – I assure you that it is not.
Start your day off right by implementing routines, practicing gratitude, reciting affirmation, visualizing your goals, and getting intentional.
When things get hard, it’s important to take control of your emotional state with breathwork, responding instead of reacting, and truly processing what we’re feeling. It’s also important to try and be present in the moment.
Last but not least, make sure you are taking care of yourself. You are important so make sure you are honoring what you need!
Take it slow, too. You don’t need to try and change everything at once. Take it one day or even one hour at a time and evolve over time. You got this mama!
The biggest sale of the year is here and I wanted to share some of my favorite affordable and luxurious finds for beauty, home, and kids from the Nordstrom Anniversary Sale.
If you’ve been around for a bit, you know I love a good find, especially if it’s on sale! I have shopped the N Sale for the past few years and love that they offer more items than just women’s and men’s clothing and shoes. It’s my favorite time to not only stock up on those items, which you can see a few of my picks on this post – but also to stock up on items for Christmas, for homes, and for the girls for the year.
Because my girls aren’t in massive growth mode, I usually buy one size up. And they can wear them for the entire year, and some beyond.
I’m always shopping for our short term rental properties. So some of the items are pure luxury and so soft that I have them in our own home. And give them as gifts too! What better way to welcome others into your home, but not really your personal home, than some of your favorite things!
Before we get too much further, I have to let you know I’ve included affiliate links. Which means if you shop through my link, I get a small commission, at no additional cost to you, and it makes me smile a little more 🙂
$1,000 Gift Card Giveaway
And I also have a fun giveaway for someone to win a $1,000 gift card to shop the Nordstrom Anniversary Sale which will basically run the whole month of August! Enter below.
I have teamed up with an amazing group of bloggers to give YOU a chance to win:
a $1,000 Nordstrom Gift Cards to shop the Anniversary sale!
Simply enter below by completing the rafflecopter. You’ll receive one entry per completion. This giveaway is open to the U.S. and Canada only and runs until 8/17. Winner will be announced here. Good Luck!
Void where prohibited. By entering the giveaway you acknowledge that you are agreeing to complete each task, which involves following, liking and subscribing to newsletter’s.
Ok, so now onto my favorites for finding luxurious items for home, beauty, and kids. If you click on the photo, it will take you directly to my liketoknow.it where you can shop my picks and add them to your wish list for when you are able to shop.
Happy shopping and wish list building! Only a few more days until the sale opens 🙂
As I have been looking for furnishings for our new home, I wanted pieces that would last for a long time, but also transition from one age to the next. The first was with Leila’s room as she’s going to be – dare I say it – a preteen and teenager sooner than I’d like to believe.
When I was searching for her things, I wanted the base to be cute and acceptable for an 8 year old. But also something that would work for her a few years down the road with simply changing the sheets and accessories.
New Bed from Delta Children
Insert this awesome bed from Delta Children! It fits my farmhouse style. But will work for a few years because it’s a twin size!
The bed was easy enough to put together that Leila and I did it by ourselves in an afternoon. And the instructions and tools come in the box. So that was super helpful! It also might have been a bit easier because her room was completely empty because we didn’t move in yet and gave us a ton of extra room that we wouldn’t have normally had.
I love that it can fit multiple ways in a room.
Either against the wall, with side tables, or even have a chaise at the end. For when she’s growing and wanting to change her room around.
For now, we placed it against the wall on one side because she doesn’t have side tables. She and Finlee have so much fun playing and reading in her bed.
This is our temporary home until our forever home is being finished. So the wall colors and curtains are more a neutral aspect that will completely change with her new room. This bed is for that future space. Not this current one.
That being said, I love how the grayish color of this bed fits into this space. And also the more colorful palette we have picked out, proving it’s versatile.
Another great thing about this piece is it’s available at Walmart and Delta Children – making for very easy access to many people.
This bed was the first piece I picked out to move into our current space with aspirations to move into our forever home. I think it really helped solidify my style of Industrial Modern Glam Farmhouse!
My entire life, I’ve always wanted to be straight and flat on every inch of my body.
Straight and flat hair that would be straight to my head and not poofy. Straight legs and chest so I could wear the things I would see on tv and on the mannequins at the store. Flat stomach and muscles because that’s what seemed to get the dates and boys to look at them more.
Except I was made for Texas. Big hair that’s a lot and thick – that NEVER lays flat straight to my face or head. My body shape has curves in all the right places. So I’m learning and never before have really loved.
For most of my entire 32 years, I could have fit in better as a Kardashian sister and their bodies than I do with my own family – except I haven’t ever had a knife touch my body outside of 2 C-Sections which is about to change.
Body Image Issue
I thought that my curves, broad shoulders, booty and thick thighs were a shame and something to hide. And I dressed that way. I would wear flowy and billowy clothes because I thought that was making my body look better. I didn’t understand that an hourglass shape is something to be desired. Ok, maybe in my early 20s before kids and when I was in great shape. I did understand this, but I was definitely doing it for the wrong reasons. Dresses too short and way too see thru to wear outside of the house let alone to a club or to dinner.
But becoming a Mom does a lot to your body that many don’t understand, especially guys. And really other women that seem to bounce back right after baby. And never look like they were pregnant in the first place…
..yeah, they don’t get it either.
So for the rest of us who do get changed during pregnancy and the time after, I didn’t feel like the same person. Post C-Section and lack of sleep are quite the combo that makes you not even really appreciate all the things your body does for you, let alone feel sexy in it. ….. well for me anyways. I didn’t and sometimes don’t understand what my husband sees when he looks at me with all the love and affection he does. There are days still. Almost 4 years post baby that I don’t like the image I see in the mirror.
I still look at my body longing for the pre baby, super fit, small waist, perky breasts that are undamaged. A scarless lower stomach and give it grief for the way it stares back at me in the mirror. Asking why there’s extra cellulite, less muscle tone. Why it doesn’t look good in short dresses like it did ‘back in the day’. For some women, this can lead to disordered eating, the obsessive need for weight loss, and a negative body image. Throw in social media, and these are all prime risk factors to developing an eating disorder.
Another factor we maybe don’t talk about enough is the fact that the way us moms behave and act can start affecting our little girls at a young age. If us moms are strict on the way we treat our bodies and unkind, our little girls can grow up doing the same thing.
But the reality is, my body is pretty great. I have a great shape that looks good in bodycon and athleisure.
It has curves and muscle and can make my husband stop what he’s doing in a second and be completely lost in my presence.
And this year, yep, just this year, I realized that the clothes I was putting on my body aren’t allowing me to put my best body forward. The billowy, drapey clothing were just making my body look like a blob. The shoes I was wearing were making me look clunky. And like my muscular legs didn’t have any definition or length at all. This part wasn’t about body dissatisfaction but more about comfort. I might have had a positive body image, but I really wanted to be comfortable, and the billowy clothing was more comfortable for me.
For 7 years, I’ve been buying clothes and shoes that people who are 21 are buying and I didn’t know any better! I would look at these models and watch tv and see what they were wearing and just get that – except with a muscular, curvy body. As a person who loves a boho life and less structure in my clothing than my morning schedule, it is tough to realize your clothes are the biggest obstacle in your life! Now that I know what shapes and types of clothing fit for my body type, I know what to steer clear of in the store. And what sections I should absolutely go to! I know which brands are good and which aren’t great.
It has made my life much easier!
I may not be the most stylish or fashion forward with the trends. But I know what fits my body and what makes it look good. My confidence has increased, and I feel like I’m not hiding anymore. I feel comfortable in my skin and my clothes wherever I go. I don’t feel like I’m not enough or should hide in the corner anymore because of the way I look. Now, I can also only add key pieces to my closet and keep the rest out!
So, all of this to say that yes, I will be accepting my body as it is, but also that I will try to make it better and ease the stress I’m putting on the inside of my body. Like the organs and joints and muscles.
I’m going to get my breasts reduced and lifted because it will allow my back pain to ease. It will also allow for exercise to return much quicker and easier. This in itself will bring more confidence to me, but most importantly will allow me to do things I haven’t because of pain associated with the weight. I will have my herniated umbilical fixed so there’s no longer discomfort randomly in my stomach.
I’m eating better and doing things that will help reduce the load and cellulite on my body.
So it can be toned and healthy from filling it with good for me things.
The clothes are minor, it’s the other things that will help my body live it’s best for the next 30+ years that are major changes in shape, size, pain level, and health. And the thing we don’t talk about enough, the mental health aspect of life of feeling like you actually belong in your body and can love it.
What are a few things you are working on right now to love you more and more?
to enjoy. They can be healthy or an indulgent option. I love the treats I found from Sugarfina. They sell them at Nordstrom, have a location at the Phoenix Sky Harbor Airport, and online. (The coffee gummy bears and the cocktail line are a must!)
Another great thing about this piece is it’s available at Walmart and Delta Children – making for very easy access to many people.
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