How Not To Be A Helicopter Parent

by ajohnson | Apr 18, 2022 | Blog, Life, Motherhood, Opinion

It’s hard to be a parent sometimes. You want to do what’s best for your child and make sure they have everything they need, but you don’t want to smother them either. This is where the concept of helicopter parenting comes in. Helicopter parents are the ones who constantly hover over their children, never letting them out of their sight. While this may seem like the best way to protect your child, it can have negative consequences in the long run. In this blog post, we will discuss how not to be a helicopter parent and give you some tips on how to let your child grow up safely and independently!

So, what are some of the dangers of helicopter parenting? For one, it can lead to your child becoming too reliant on you. They may not learn how to do things on their own and may have trouble when they eventually have to leave the nest. Additionally, helicopter parenting can often be a form of overcompensation. This is when parents try to overcompensate for their childhoods by giving their children everything they didn’t have. However, this can backfire because the child may not learn how to appreciate what they have and may take things for granted.

So, how can you avoid being a helicopter parent?

How Not To Be A Helicopter Parent

1. What is a helicopter parent

Have you ever heard of the term “helicopter parent?” If you haven’t, it’s a parent who is always hovering around their child, never giving them a chance to do anything on their own. This style of parenting often results in kids who lack basic life skills and coping skills. So, how can you avoid being a helicopter parent? Well, first of all, it’s important to teach your kids basic life skills like cooking, cleaning, and budgeting. This will give them the independence they need to succeed in life.

Secondly, you should encourage your kids to try new things and to cope with disappointment. This will help them develop resilience and learn how to handle setbacks. Finally, it’s important to have faith in your kids and let them make their own decisions. This doesn’t mean you should let them do whatever they want, but it does mean that you should trust their judgment and give them the chance to grow up into responsible adults.

One of the best things you can do for your kids is to give them responsibilities. This might seem counterintuitive – after all, aren’t you supposed to be protecting them and solving all their problems? But the truth is that giving kids responsibility is one of the best ways to help them grow into independent, successful adults. When you give your kids chores or other tasks to do, you’re giving them a chance to learn how to solve problems and take care of themselves. And while you might need to give them a little bit of guidance at first, it’s important to resist the urge to do everything for them. Letting them solve problems on their own will give them the confidence and skills they need to succeed in life.

2. Why are they bad

Helicopter parenting gets its name from the way helicopter blades whirl around constantly, never giving the pilot a break. And that pretty much sums up what it’s like to be a helicopter parent: always on, always hovering, never taking a break. It can be tough to watch your kids struggle, but sometimes it’s necessary for their development. Here are three reasons why helicopter parenting is bad for your kids (and how you can avoid it).

First, helicopter parenting doesn’t allow kids to develop the skills they need to cope with adversity. When parents hover, they swoop in and fix every problem, big or small. This might seem like a good thing in the short term, but it prevents kids from learning how to deal with difficult situations. They never learn how to solve problems on their own, and as a result, they become reliant on their parents. Secondly, helicopter parenting can lead to entitled behavior in kids. When parents do everything for their kids, the kids start to expect that everything will be handed to them on a silver platter.

They never learn the value of hard work or how to be grateful for what they have. Finally, helicopter parenting can damage the parent-child relationship. When parents are always hovering, kids never learn how to be independent. They also start to see their parents as overbearing and intrusive and when they become college students, they don’t know how to live on their own.

3. Ways to avoid being one

You want what’s best for your kids, but sometimes it can be tough to know when to let them fly solo. Here are a few tips on how not to be a helicopter parent. First, coach them on how to interact with other people. This includes teaching them how to share, take turns, and resolve conflicts. Secondly, letting kids make their own decisions is an important part of developing independence. This doesn’t mean you should let them do whatever they want – set limits and offer guidance – but allow them the space to make some choices for themselves.

Lastly, don’t do everything for them. Let them dress, pour their milk, and tie their shoes. It may be messy or take longer at first, but it’s important for their development. The sooner kids learn these and other life skills, at a young age, the better off they will be in the long run.

4. The benefits

So what are the benefits of not being a helicopter parent? For one, your kids will learn how to cope with adversity and solve problems on their own. They will also develop a strong work ethic and be grateful for what they have. Finally, your relationship with your kids will improve, and they will be more independent. All of these things will set your kids up for success in life, both academically and socially. Teaching what is right from wrong is always beneficial to children. Teaching them how to think for themselves and make decisions is also beneficial. And teaching them to be independent and take care of themselves is also very beneficial. Teaching kids to be who they are, and not who you want them to be, is probably the most important benefit of all.

Helicopter parenting does none of these things. In fact, helicopter parenting actually does the opposite of all of these things. Helicopter parenting teaches children that they are not capable of taking care of themselves or making decisions for themselves. Helicopter parenting does not allow children to be who they are. But instead tries to mold them into who the parent wants them to be. Helicopter parenting is not beneficial to children; in fact, it does more harm than good. If you want what’s best for your children, don’t be a helicopter parent. Allow them to grow and develop into the independent, successful adults they are meant to be.

What are your thoughts on helicopter parenting? Are you guilty of any of these things? Share your stories and advice

How Not To Raise A Spoiled Child: The Dos and Don’ts of Parenting

by ajohnson | Apr 11, 2022 | Blog, Life, Motherhood, Opinion

Raising a spoiled child is one of the biggest fears for any parent. No one wants to raise a child who expects everything to be handed to them on a silver platter and who has no respect for authority. It can be tough to know what the right thing to do is when it comes to parenting, but luckily, we’re here to help! In this blog post, we will discuss the dos and don’ts of parenting so that you can avoid spoiling your child. Today, I’m sharing practical ways on how you can raise happy kids without spoiling them or having guilt about your kid not getting everything they want.

How Not To Raise A Spoiled Child: The Dos and Don’ts of Parenting

1. What is spoiling a child and why you should avoid it

As any parent knows, raising a child is no easy feat. There are plenty of decisions to be made and plenty of challenges to face. One of the most common challenges is knowing how to say no to a child. It can be difficult to deny a child something they want, but it’s important to remember that giving in too easily can lead to a spoiled child. A spoiled child is typically one who is used to getting their way and who has difficulty dealing with frustration or disappointment. While it’s important to give your child plenty of love and attention, it’s also important that you set limits and teach them to be patient and resilient. With a little effort, you can avoid raising a spoiled child and instead instill in them the values of hard work and self-control.

So, what are some of the dos and don’ts of parenting? Here are a few tips:

Don’t give in to every demand – It’s important to set limits for your child and to teach them that not everything they want will be given to them. This can be difficult for young children who are used to getting their way, but it’s important to be consistent and firm.

Do give your child love and attention – It’s also important to remember that you should never withhold love or attention as a form of discipline. Children need love and attention to feel secure and loved.

Don’t use bribery as a way to get your child to behave – This can backfire in the long run and can lead to a child who is constantly demanding things to get what they want.

Do provide a structure for your child – Children need boundaries and structure to feel secure. Giving your child rules and limits will help them understand what is expected of them.

Don’t be afraid to say no – As we mentioned before, it’s important to teach your child that not everything they want will be given to them. It’s also important for them to learn how to handle disappointment.

Do provide consequences for bad behavior – If your child does something wrong, it’s important to provide a consequence that is appropriate for their age. This will help them learn that there are consequences for their actions.

2. The dangers of spoiling a child

As parents, we want our children to be happy and to feel loved. We often show our love by giving them material things or by letting them have their way. However, this can do more harm than good in the long run. If we praise them for every little thing they do, they may start to expect praise for everything they do and become entitled and spoiled. Similarly, if we allow them to have whatever they want, they may never learn how to deal with disappointment or understand the value of money. Instead, it is important to set guidelines for your child and to enforce rules consistently. This will help them to develop a sense of self-control and to appreciate the things that they have. In other words, by not spoiling your child, you are setting them up for a successful future.

So, what are some of the dangers of spoiling a child? Here are a few:

They may become entitled and spoiled – If a child is constantly given what they want, they may start to expect it from everyone. This can lead to problems in their relationships and at work.

They may have difficulty dealing with disappointment – If a child is never allowed to experience disappointment, they may not be able to handle it when it inevitably comes their way. This can lead to problems such as depression or anxiety.

They may have difficulty with money – A spoiled child may have difficulty understanding the value of money and may be more likely to spend frivolously.

They may not be able to handle stress – Spoiled children often have difficulty dealing with stress and may turn to drugs or alcohol to cope.

So, as you can see, there are several dangers associated with spoiling a child.

3. How to recognize if you’re spoiling your child

Do you have a spoiled brat on your hands? One of the hardest things for parents to do is avoid spoiling their children. It can be difficult to tell whether you are truly spoiling your child or if you are just being a good parent. One way to tell if you are spoiling your child is by observing their behavior. Spoiled children tend to be demanding and ungrateful. They may throw tantrums or act out when they don’t get what they want. And they may be used to getting their way through manipulation or promises of good behavior. Spoiled children may also be ungrateful, expecting lavish gifts or attention without any appreciation. Spoiled children are usually poor losers and have difficulty sharing.

Another sign of a spoiled child is an entitlement – spoiled children often feel like they are owed something. Whether it’s special treatment or the best of everything. If you notice any of these behaviors in your child, it may be time to reevaluate your parenting style. Another way to tell if you are spoiling your child is by looking at your behavior. If you find yourself constantly giving in to your child’s demands, then you may be spoiling them. Alternatively, if you feel guilty when you say no to your child, then you may be spoiling them.

4. The dos and don’ts of parenting to avoid spoiling your child

Many parents often wonder how they can prevent their children from turning into spoiled brats. While there’s no single answer to this question, there are some general dos and don’ts of parenting that can help. One of the most important things is to be consistent with enforcing rules. If kids know that they can sometimes get away with bad behavior, they’re more likely to keep testing the limits. It’s also important to teach kids the value of patience. This can be done in small ways, such as making them wait a few minutes before getting a snack.

Finally, parents must be good role models themselves. If kids see their parents acting entitled or behaving badly, they’re more likely to follow suit. Rewarding your child for the right reasons, teaching them to say thank you. And giving them chores are all great ways to avoid raising a spoiled child.

Rewarding your child every time they do something right can lead to a sense of entitlement. Instead, try to focus on rewarding them for exceptional behavior or achievements. This will teach them that they have to work hard to get what they want in life.

Teach your child manners.

One of the best ways to prevent your child from becoming a spoiled brat is by teaching them good manners. Teaching your child to say please and thank you, and to be polite, can go a long way in preventing them from becoming entitled.

Chores are another great way to help children understand the value of money and hard work. Leila is one of the only kids in her class when polled, who does chores daily, out of 20. While she doesn’t get money, she doesn’t have a budget for when we might go somewhere or if she wants to get something and she’s been good with her chores. And if she wants something and hasn’t been good with the chores, she knows when she’s told once the reason she can’t get what she wants and doesn’t ask again. Good behavior, as well as responsibility, go a long way. And starting them with chores, even small ones, will help create appreciation and humility.

5. Additional tips for avoiding spoiled children

One of the most important things to remember when it comes to raising kids is to stay consistent. This means setting clear boundaries and expectations and sticking to them. It can be tempting to give in to your child’s every whim. But this will only result in a spoiled brat who expects everything to go their way. Instead, try offering choices and teaching empathy. This helps kids learn how to make decisions and understand that they don’t always get what they want.

Helping your child understand how others feel and why it’s important to consider their feelings will go a long way in preventing them from becoming spoiled. If they learn to see things from another perspective, they’ll be less likely to be spoiled. Finally, remember that this is a long-term process. It takes years to raise a well-adjusted, responsible adult. So don’t get discouraged if your efforts don’t seem to be paying off right away.

Children are still learning and growing, and they will make mistakes. American Academy of Pediatrics has additional tips for avoiding spoiled children.

Raising a spoiled child can be challenging, but it’s not impossible.

If you’re consistent with your rules and teach your child the value of patience and good manners, you’ll be well on your way to avoiding this fate. Additionally, try to focus on rewarding them for exceptional behavior rather than for simply doing what they’re supposed to do. And lastly, remember that it takes time to raise a well-adjusted adult. Don’t get discouraged if your efforts don’t seem to be paying off right away. Children are still learning and growing. And they will make mistakes.

If you’re looking for more tips on how not to raise a spoiled child, check out the American Academy of Pediatrics website. They have a number of great resources that can help you create a plan to avoid this parenting pitfall. Raising children is hard work, but it’s worth it in the end. Good luck!

How to Raise Kids Who Understand the Value of Working Hard

by ajohnson | Apr 8, 2022 | Blog, Life, Motherhood, Opinion

For those of us who have made it out alive, survived the hardships and financial crunches of life, understand the value of working hard.

“Work hard” “Hard work is the key to success”, are not just quotes we find on the internet, but we’ve lived by them, and experienced them. But our children have not. Until now, they are living a comfortable life. It’s only a while before things change for them. They will reach a phase in life where only hard work can make life survivable for them. And when they do, they must know hard work is the value to uphold, and at the same time recognize the hard work of people around them.

For that to happen, it’s pivotal to raise them in such a way. If you don’t know how to do that, this article can help you.

How to raise kids who understand the value of working hard

1. Let them do their chores

The first rule to make them understand the value of working hard is to invite them to wear your shoes (no, I don’t mean that literally). In other words, the only way they’ll understand the value is when they do it themselves. Encouraging them to do their chores is a small step towards this endeavor.

So, if managing the house for a day, or working a part-time job is not an option, then letting them be responsible for their chores definitely is. Whether it is making their own meal, washing their dishes, or simply picking up their toy – let them do things they are responsible for.

In our home, the chores change with the times of the year and their ages. During the summer, there are more chores than winter due to not having school. Our oldest also has more chores than the younger one but the younger one still helps the older one most of the time.

2. Involve them in activities

Going back to what I said before if managing a house for a day, or working a part-time job seems doable for a child of the age then why not encourage them to do it? They’ll learn the value of working hard only if they work hard.

They must know how hard home management, earning, and making a living is. One won’t be able to get by if they are not hardworking – they must know it.

Having said that, these are not the only activities. You can involve them in activities such as budgeting, or managing a party, etc.

3. Tell them about comfort zone

All children live in their comfort zones until they have to work. The point is, the more they remain in their comfort zone, the harder it will be for them to get out. Activities mentioned above can certainly help them understand that, but having honest conversations about the harmful effects of staying inside it can do wonders.

Ergo, talk to them about comfort zones. Talk about how it can limit oneself from growing. Have a friendly conversation, don’t make it a lecture. Make it as interactive as you can.

In our home, we encourage and put the girls in situations where the comfort zone is going to be shattered the second they do it, and it’s not really a choice for them to say no. Obviously, the situations are safe and only ones they are ready to do which I believe as their mom. We offer encouragement and support as they are going but don’t do it for them. It’s up to them to complete the situation and realize they are capable. These could be as simple things as taking off the training wheels on their bike to helping them understand they are strong enough to move the recycle bin to the street even when it’s full to meeting with a new swim coach or trying a new event. Whatever’s applicable to your child, give it a shot more often.

4. Encourage them to read books

You can learn a lot about the world by not actually living in one.

Conflicted, right?  What I meant is, books might not be set in the real world, but they can actually teach a lot about it. That’s the power of reading, you don’t just gain knowledge, but you gain perspectives and values. All the more, as is our concept, gaining values of hard work is one such thing reading can help your child with.

Both of our girls are at different levels in their age as well as reading. Finlee still loves reading about fictitious characters while Leila is more into series of books and books that have been made into movies. I have found it most important to encourage their reading of any kind instead of worrying what they are reading. Obviously, it’s all age appropriate books, but sometimes it might be a comic book for kids over a novel.

5. Acknowledge their hard work more than accomplishments

Sometimes, even after working hard, one may fail. But it’s okay, failures are a part of life, and you cannot let your children be afraid of them.

The ideal way to do that is to recognize their efforts and hard work. You must understand that your reaction matters. As parents, you might think that praising your kids for accomplishments only (not for failures), is all you should do. But you’re wrong.

Doing so can make them undermine the value of working hard. They might think that working hard is pointless if it brings failure or only disappoints their parents. They must never despise hard work because it was never recognized.

Ergo, whether your child achieves a milestone or not, praise them for working hard, not for achieving what they achieved.

In our house, this always relates back to swimming because it is such a hard sport on the individual. Some days are good and other days are a bit off and end up in a disqualification. When those DQs happen, we think about what we learned and the lesson, and then write it down to practice and then move on. Kids are super resilient and the more you can celebrate their failures, the better off they will be when the have a career and life of their own. So, for a DQ, we go to Dairy Queen for a blizzard and celebrate the lesson and encourage the failure as much as the success.

6. Encourage them to live the life they want

When children want something bad, they’ll automatically work hard for it. Hence, encourage them to choose their own path – even when you might not be all up for it. You might want them to become a lawyer, or run your business, but if they don’t want to, you can’t blame them for making their choices. They’ll work hard for the things they want, not the ones you want.

You can still teach them about being a lawyer or running your business, hopefully the lessons and experience you share they can take with them in some way to use in their own life. One day, they may even say you were right and the things you shared and taught them stuck even if they didn’t run your business or become a lawyer. Remember, they are always watching your every move, so even nonverbal encouragement can make a big difference.

7. Share stories

A pinch of inspiration can do wonders. And as one knows, stories can be a god-sent for that. Besides, stories might prevent conversations from becoming lectures. Ergo, if you have any stories to tell your kid, be an open book. Share your experiences or of those you know. Give them examples, give them instances that help them acknowledge the importance of working hard. 

We tell lots of stories in our house mostly because we want to share what we did growing up, which is vastly different than the life our girls are having, but also to keep history alive. We talk about people who have passed, our parents, before the girls were born stories, and even stories of when they may not have been home or vacations they didn’t go on. This is such a great way to encourage their creativity as well as help them understand things aren’t always the way they are currently.

If you are thinking this is too hard, or it’s not working, look back on your own childhood and reflect on how long it took you to understand the same things. I bet it didn’t happen overnight. And I bet your parents, if you asked them, would tell you how hard and unsure they were when trying to teach you as well. The more you allow them to do chores, tell stories, encourage reading, and get them out of their comfort zone, the better it will be. And remember, it might take years for the lessons to actually sink in and stick, I know it did for me and I’m willing to bet it did for you too.

7 Ways to Raise Money-Smart Kids

by ajohnson | Mar 28, 2022 | Blog, Life, Motherhood, Opinion

7 Ways to Raise Money-Smart Kids

We read fairy tales to kids, put them to sleep narrating stories that emphasize the world is a good place and life is easy while knowing in the back of our head that it’s not.

Life is extremely difficult, and children should not come to terms with this fact only when they’re older. One of the most important things that’ll help them survive in the world is finances. As parents, you might provide them everything, be there as financial and emotional support, but things won’t stay the same ever.

One day your kids would grow and have to survive financially by managing their own money. It won’t be easy if they’re not money-smart.

Ergo, your lesson here is that you have to raise them to be money smart, and not depend on time to do it for you. Here are some of the tips that can help you do that.

7 ways to raise money-smart kids

1. Talk about money

If you think talking about money with children is pointless because they’re too young, or “They won’t get it,” “It’s not their age”, you need to think everything through.

Talking about money is essential; don’t wait for them to turn 16 to do that. The sooner they learn about money, the smarter they’ll become as time goes by.

Additionally, by talking about money, I don’t mean lengthy lectures, but practical knowledge about it. Let them know when it’s the best time to buy something, how to save during the holiday season, how banks and ATMs work, things like that.

2. Do money-learning activities

Theoretical knowledge works, but when it comes to activities, nothing can beat them. Why? Because when you put theories to use, you remember your lessons well and for a long time.

Thus, indulge them in activities. Take them to banks, let them buy groceries on a budget, If your kid is too young for that, accompany them to shops, give them the money, and ask them to do the payments and collect change.

3. Be a role model

You can teach them all the good values, but what they will pick up is the things YOU do. Why? Because children imitate. So, you cannot expect your children to be money-smart if you are not money-smart in front of them.

For instance, if you want them to save, don’t go by spending lavishly without a thought in front of them. Be mindful. Save.

Additionally, while you are at it, focus on positive parenting. Don’t taunt them all the time about money, or the heavy expenses you have to incur on them – Be positive, your goal is to make them money smart not making them resent you.

4. Let them manage their own money

You cannot wait for them to turn 18 and learn to manage their money on their own at ease. In fact, it’s better if they start early – even when they are 10 years old.

Having said that, giving them allowances, pocket money would work if you have teen kids. Let them manage everything in the same amount. You might think it’s cruel, but it’s not if they learn a lot from it.

As for younger kids, you can give them piggy banks to save and manage their own money.

5. Make sure there’s a line between being a money saver and a penny-pincher

It’s ideal if your kids learn to save. However, it’s not if they become a penny-pincher in the name of frugality. There’s a fine line between the two concepts. Being frugal means you do your best to save money by acknowledging your responsibility towards others, while penny-pincher or parsimonious means you don’t spend money at all and depend on people for it.

So, your goal is to not let them become the latter. You wouldn’t want your kids to be financially dependent on someone, would you?

6. Make it fun

Lessons are remembered when they are fun. So if you are teaching your kids money-saving, make it fun. Make them watch movies that might help them understand the value of money, or play Monopoly.

Yes, you heard that right. Surprisingly a game of Monopoly can make them learn a lot about finances. For starters:

•   It can make them learn about loans.
•   It enlightens them about property and ownership.
•   It teaches them money-related concepts such as interest and mortgage, income and property tax, etc. 

7. Lastly, inculcate good money habits in them

At the end of the day, it’s all about adopting good money habits. Encourage your kids to do the same. By money habits, I mean the following.

•   Monitoring expenses in a spreadsheet – every single penny.
•   Preparing budgets.
•   Calculating compound interests.
•   Money-saving.
•   Making investments, creating a portfolio.
•   Maintaining a good credit score.
•   Avoiding the use of credit cards.

You can help them develop these habits by involving them while you do the same, having healthy conversations about these topics, and lastly letting them have their takeaways by watching you follow these habits.

Well, this will do the job. Now that you have these tips, I hope you’d know what to do. All the best! Additionally, if you have a few more tips that can help other readers to raise money-smart children, feel free to share them in the comment section.