7 Ways to Raise Grateful Kids in an Entitled World

7 Ways to Raise Grateful Kids in an Entitled World

by ajohnson | Feb 8, 2022 | Blog, Home, Opinion

How often have you found your kid being stubborn to get a toy they liked? And later for another, until it goes on and on, and there’s no stop to your kids’ desires even when they already have something similar right at home.

When it comes to raising children, an essential part of it is inculcating good values to ensure that they become kind humans when they grow up. One of these values is gratefulness. But even when every parent wants that; they think that it’s almost impossible because the world in which they live is driven by materialistic temptations.

While we cannot help but accept this harsh reality, at the same time, we must believe in the power of our values and upbringing. If we feed in strong values in them, they won’t rebound. They’ll stick to them because it will become their way of life.

In other words, if you’ll teach your kids to be grateful for things they have from the very start, then they might not grow up to be materialistic and ungrateful people. They will know their values, and they will live by them.

How to Raise Grateful Kids in an Entitled World

I have a personal story of someone in my immediate family who I believe was not given these tools to be grateful. And as an adult, and an older adult, they still haven’t learned how to be grateful. This person throws a fit when they don’t get what they believe they deserve, not need, even though money isn’t readily available to have the thing they want. Until they get something they want, they won’t talk to their spouse or will make their life miserable until the other person gives in and gets what they want, even if it means going without other necessary things like food or electricity.

It’s a hard thing to watch, honestly. And my girls have experienced it first hand from this person. And Steve and I remind them every day to not be like this person. It’s not a good look and it makes people really angry and not want to be around them.

Just in case, you are wondering how to raise them to be grateful, this article is all you need. 

Here are 7 ways to raise grateful kids in an entitled world:

1. Stop rewarding them

Yes, rewarding kids makes your work easy – kids finish their milk, pick up their toys. And you save a lot of energy by7 Ways to Raise Grateful Kids in an Entitled World not running after them. A win-win!

But is it really a win-win? Because even though you both get what you wanted, you cannot ignore that your constant rewards are inculcating no good value in them. In fact, you are training your kids to be materialistic and greedy in the future.

The thing is when you keep on rewarding your kids, they would never do things because they should. Right now, they are expecting something in return, later when they grow up to be adults they will never consider doing good things just out of their heart- they will always be greedy to want something or the other.

Thus, now is the time to reflect on your methods and tricks as a parent. Take extra efforts, don’t opt for rewarding schemes. Even if you have to, don’t offer material things as rewards – but some other privileges like allowing them to choose a restaurant for your next dine-out, a star sticker perhaps on their hands for being good. But even when you are at it, just limit it, ensure that you don’t use the reward system exceedingly, and make your child dependent on it.

2. ​Allow your kids to do their chores

Your kids might be kids, but it does not give them a free pass to not do their chores. On the contrary, when you do their chores, you are offering them comfort and privileges; kids never learn to be grateful when they are in their comfort zone. They must know what it’s like to be on their feet all day doing this chore and that. The only way to let them know is to allow them to do the chores themselves. You do not have to ask them to do all the work, but only their chores – like cleaning up their rooms, washing their dishes, etc.

For the record, when kids do their chores, they also learn to become independent in life; it also inculcates a sense of responsibility and maturity in them. At the same time, they become grateful because once they start doing the chores themselves, they realize and acknowledge all the efforts that you put in for them. If you need some support and help with this one, read my post on the topic HERE. 

3. Practice gratitude with them

When you have to raise your kids to be grateful, practicing gratitude daily can significantly help. You can encourage them to create their gratitude journal wherein they write down two things they are grateful for, every day.

To heighten their interest, you can encourage them to be creative. You can ask them to doodle, paint, or calligraph their words so they enjoy the process as well. However, you do have to make sure that they do not see it as a kind of obligation. They should practice gratitude because they want to and because they mean what they write down.

Mind that, children learn more from you than the world outside. Thus, if you practice gratitude as well, perhaps they’ll end up picking the same habit. This is a HUGE one in my house because I grew up seeing the other side of this and knew I didn’t want anything to do with that. 

4. ​Interact with kids

When you have a relationship wherein there’s unhampered communication; your kids will have a free, interesting, and7 Ways to Raise Grateful Kids in an Entitled World healthy upbringing. You can use communication to raise them to be grateful. For instance, you can start a conversation wherein you begin by mentioning things you are grateful for. Then, you can invite them to do the same.

We recently went to Disneyland because both girls are finally old enough to remember the experience since we went in 2016 and Finlee (pictured here) was only 8 months old back then. Now that she’s 6 we could have a conversation and figure out what she really wanted to see and do as well as what Leila (almost 11 now) wanted to do/see to maximize our time and see everything. It was great getting to have a conversation with the both of them separately as well as together to get on the same page. I make a point every day to speak to them even if it’s in the car on the way to school or swim practice. Every little bit helps and I know they enjoy it and listen because it generally comes back later in conversation about what we spoke about and their lesson.

Simultaneously, you can make use of nighttime stories to inculcate good values in them. Children learn a lot from stories, so you can perhaps pick a story that communicates the good value of gratefulness. There’s always a lesson to be learned, even if it’s something you might not feel is important — kids are always listening and watching. 

5. ​Change your ways of life

As mentioned before, children learn a lot from you. This means you have to change your habits which are promoting the opposite of gratefulness. Starting from your shopping instincts – you cannot be a spontaneous shopper in front of them; you would be promoting materialism if you do so.

Secondly, you have to teach them the importance of money. Your children need to know that money is hard to earn, which is why they must be grateful for what they have, and what you earn for them. You can’t just teach them to ask for something that costs money and it automatically appear. They have to know things aren’t free and money is require for them to get things. 

6. ​Allow them to cherish moments

Looking for a birthday gift for your kid? Well, how about gifting them moments and memories instead of a brand-newfamily picnic with daughters remote-controlled car? 

That being said, your goal should be to raise children in such a way that they value experiences, moments, and memories, not things. When they value these intangible aspects of life, they’ll bother less about tangible things. This is my number 1 suggestion and ask when my girls have birthdays, Christmas, or any other time they would get a gift. I always say we can provide everything they need, and even things they want at times, so their time and memories are more important with the gift giver than things. Sometimes people listen, and I’ve come to learn that those who continually get them gifts instead of spending time don’t want to put in the effort, sadly. And my girls are learning who they can count on and who they want to spend time with, for fun, not just on holidays. 

7. ​Encourage them to be kind and giving

Kindness is the greatest gift. Unfortunately, we live in a world wherein parents do not emphasize the value of kindness. They teach them abacus and poems, but they forget preaching kindness.

If you have to raise grateful kids, you have to encourage kindness. You have to let them know that there’s a world out there that is not blessed with the privileges that they have, which is why they must be grateful and at the same time, do their best to make it a better place.

  • For the said purpose, you can do the following.
  • Go out for a donation drive every month as a family.
  • Encourage your kids to donate their extra clothes and toys.
  • ​Go out to orphanages and interact with the people there.
  • Encourage them to help out other kids at school.
  • Encourage them to share their lunch with those in need.
  • ​Encourage them to be good Samaritans and volunteer for good causes.

 

Lastly…

Gratefulness can neither be taught nor learned in a few days. It takes months, years, but most importantly, it takes a change of habits, and lifestyle to develop a grateful outlook. So, if you are a parent who is trying, we hope these tips help you out in the endeavor.

How do you teach your kids to be grateful? 

Why your Child Needs to do the Chores

Why your Child Needs to do the Chores

by ajohnson | Feb 5, 2022 | Blog, Home, Life

Household chores are regular tasks that enable the proper functioning and operating of the home as a system. Nobody actually enjoys doing chores. For adults, they are simply mindless tasks that have to be done every day. But what about kids?

Some parents want their children to enjoy their youth, playing in the garden instead of weeding it. Because childhood once gone, never comes back. Some parents think it is our job as adults to take care of our children. So why should we involve the children in our work?

However, research shows that kids who are taught to do the chores are more confident and self-dependent in their adulthood, and do not face a lot of adjustment problems. And the reasons for that are listed below.

Why your child needs to do the chores

1. Learning Life Skills

As children, they do not have to take care of chores like laundry, budgeting, and cooking. But they are going to grow up someday when they will run their own house. These skills are something which is not taught in schools and colleges but only at home. If kids are not taught their responsibilities at a young age, they will feel helpless when they go to college and have to live on their own.

2. Being more responsible

Why your Child Needs to do the Chores

Why your Child Needs to do the Chores

By assigning household chores to your kids, you are reinforcing that they are held accountable for something. And thus helping them learn how to deal with bigger responsibilities better in their later lives.

3. Gaining Self Confidence

Kids become self-dependent and confident in their capabilities when they complete duties assigned to them successfully. Especially chores that are directly related to their life like cleaning their own room, arranging their toys, making their bed, etc.

This not only makes them independent and confident but also enables them to become more aware of their duties. They will become more mindful of their space and will buffer themselves from creating an unnecessary mess.

4. Learning Teamwork

Doing the household chores makes your child feel like an efficient member of your family, and teaches them that working in a team requires reliance on others as well as expectations on yourselves. These lessons of working in a team and bearing expectations and responsibilities on one’s self equip your kid for his or her future life in workplaces.

5. Learning time management

Sometimes, a person gets overwhelmed with all the work that needs to be done in a single day. Doing chores can help the children learn planning and time management. For older children, balancing schoolwork, housework, as well as extracurricular activities together, can be a really challenging task, but it is essential for them to learn how to plan their days, for they will face much more challenging schedules later in life.

6. Develops work ethics

Rewarding the children when they complete their chores, especially with an allowance, is a common practice used to motivate the kids to do the chores in the first place. This helps build a strong work ethic in them, and they are motivated to work harder at their jobs, a skill that comes in handy in the workplace.

7. Family bonding

Chores also allow you more time with your children during the day. When the parents are doing all the household work while the kids are playing, it’s easier for kids to get bored and develop a feeling of being neglected. The solution to this is to get the children to partake in the chores so that they can spend meaningful time together.

As a kid, no one likes doing chores until they are incentivized. But once older and more mature, children themselves realize the benefits of contributing to the family by helping in the proper maintenance of the household. Most importantly, doing chores imparts invaluable life lessons to the kids, teaching them the ways of the real, outer world and giving them the confidence they need to survive in the world as an individual.

Ways to Start Building a Relationship and Keeping the Spark Alive

Ways to Start Building a Relationship and Keeping the Spark Alive

by ajohnson | Feb 2, 2022 | Blog, Life, Opinion

When you have been in a long-term relationship for a while, it’s inevitable that you slowly see the spark fading. This happens due to the monotony of daily life, work schedules, to-do lists, household chores and many more.

Most couples struggle to maintain a balance between their personal and professional lives, which results in the fading of the spark. It’s also entirely possible to take each other for granted when you’ve been together for a significant period of time and stop putting work to keep the connection strong and alive. Add in kids, and all the different activities they require, and your relationship might be on autopilot. 

Whatever the reason may be, there’s always time to rekindle the relationship and keep it alive for the long term. Let us help you get some new ideas. 

Ways to Start Building a Relationship and Keeping the Spark Alive

Here are 5 ways to start building a relationship and keeping the spark alive

1. ‘I love you’ is overrated

Confessing your love for each other is an important practice to keep the relationship alive and healthy. But often, we use this phrase so mechanically in our daily routine that the phrase loses the intensity of its meaning.

While it’s important to remind each other of your love, it’s equally important to convey other emotions and affections to your partner, such as saying, “You make my life so special,” or “I’m grateful to have you.”

Impromptu confessions like this help keep the romance in the relationship alive and well. These simple phrases might even make your partner’s day better. I know hearing something special from Steve when my day has been terrible picks me right up and makes me feel better. 

2. Start the habit of deep conversations

Open and honest conversations are the foundation of any relationship. However, how often do you have a deep andways to start building a relationship and keeping the spark alive meaningful conversation with your partner that is not centered on kids or work?

I know what you must be thinking. There’s never enough time! Well, to maintain a healthy, rounded relationship, it is important that you make the time. “What is something you really want out of life?” or something along these lines can be the question you ask your partner at dinner, or maybe while the both of you are enjoying a glass of wine.

Try to make the conversations deep and meaningful, something that will let you know each other better. If you aren’t much of a talker, maybe writing things down might be better for you and your partner. I found a 3 year couples journal called, “The Two of Us” which offers a daily question and each person gets to write their thoughts or short blurbs each night on the topic. Sometimes they are serious, while others are funny. It really makes you think and learn things about your partner you wouldn’t have otherwise known because the questions aren’t the most common. 

3. Laugh together, live together

Enjoying a good laugh with your partner reinvigorates your relationship like no other. After all, laughter is the best medicine. Try to find the humor in your arguments and fights, but not in a way that discredits your partner’s feelings.

Watch a comedy movie together, share memes and engage in banter like middle-school kids. Keeping that childlike innocence and humor alive in your relationship is very important to sustain it. Steve and I always joke around and laugh with each other — it’s probably one of my favorite things that keeps the spark alive. 

4. Bring something new into your equation

It is so easy to fall into a rut and let your relationship become a part of your routine. To keep the spark alive, it’sRelationships and keeping the spark alive important to change things up from time to time, and invest time in trying out something new.

Break free from your normal habits and do a new activity together. This will bring the fun and excitement back to your relationship, and seeing your partner in a new environment will also help you get to know them better. Experience falling in love with your partner all over again.

One activity Steve and I have brought in is The Adventure Challenge. We do this as a couple, as a family, with friends, and even started using their new, “The Adventure Challenge In Bed,” book to have a little fun when it might otherwise be boring. Click the link above and use my code SPICEITUP for 15% off your order!

5. Never too late to impress each other

When you have been in a relationship for a while, you start taking each other for granted and stop making the efforts to impress each other, like you would have done in a brand new connection.

If your partner appreciates you and tells you that you look good even in sweats, then they deserve a little more effort on your part. Dress up or surprise them with a gift, things you do in the beginning stages of courtship. Take the time to woo your partner all over again, and feel the spark come alive in your relationship.

Finally,

It takes effort to build and sustain a healthy, long-term relationship. You have to spice things up from time to time so that it doesn’t get boring and insipid. Most importantly, you and your partner have to be on the same page regarding this, so that your work doesn’t go in vain.

Try to remember the feelings you harbored in the very beginning, and attempt to recreate that same romance. Trust your partner, and communicate your needs and wants to them openly. If you want your partner to make more of an effort, discuss this with them. There is nothing that helps more than talking and sharing.